You wanted the walls around my heart to crumble. Instead my heart crumbled when you left. Now you're back, expecting me to pick up the pieces. To hand my still bleeding heart back into your care.
It doesn't matter you were gone for only two days. They were a never ending eternity. Waiting and wondering. Another crack in my soul with each hour that went by. Waking up with nothing there from you.
Washing you out of my mind was harder than I expected. It's so easy to click delete but there's no delete key in my mind. You'd slip back in with ease and break me all over again.
I was so afraid you'd leave me. I thought I had prepared myself. I thought I had more time.
You left my soul screaming. Torn from the whole that was us. I watched it whither and decay in the blink of an eye. Now my soul is quiet. Watching the man who healed her. The one who left her the most wounded.
All the staircases and tunnels of my mind are gone. There's only a desolate plain. All the memories destroyed, burned until nothing was left. Only the pain and loneliness.
So where do we go from here? You want my heart, mind and soul? Pick up the pieces of my heart yourself. Have the wasteland of my mind to yourself. Take the withered remains of my soul with you.
Fix the mess you made when you left me behind.
I feel so bad about the crushing pain you are feeling right now. I hope you find the healing you need, and find the love you deserve.
ReplyDeleteWilliam
Thanks for the support William. This was just a release of pent up emotions. I'm not actually hurting as bad as that would seem. My brain is quite functioning still! LOL
ReplyDeleteAnd I have a sense of humor! ;)
I'll be okay, but he really hurt me when he left. And there needs to be a lot of explaining and healing before I'd even think about beginning again with him.
It's going to be a long process. I have a post ready and waiting about all of that for tomorrow morning.