Decision

Written about April of '03. If I find the journal it was originally in, I could give an exact date. This was actually part of a three poem series. I was feeling very torn that day and this is the one that best shows how I felt. Considering I'm still here, I guess the ending question is answered.



The world is a happy place
while I am not.
My beloved is scared
and doesn't know what to do.
I want to be happy.
I want to love,
miss my beloved if I go.
Should I stay or go?
I'm not sure.

I want to be happy,
want my life to be happy,
want to live my life.
I'll miss them if I go,
they'll miss me too.
I try to think happy,
be happy,
know I'm happy.

My life stands on the
edge of a cliff.
I don't jump,
step back.
I'm safe, for now.
Can I remain this way?