Doubts Put to Rest

She stared out the window, excitement and tension tight in her belly. Wistfully she smiled as she recalled the last time he had visited. He had made her body hurt so good, making her cum until she couldn't think straight. He loved forcing her to keep her body still by willpower alone. While ropes and chains had their place, there was nothing more erotic to him. She preferred the physical binds of course, as they made her role easier, but He was never about the easy way. Her Master pushed her to endure one more smack, one more orgasm, one more minute. She loved him all the more for it.

Sighing, she left the window seat and curled up on the couch. She hated when he'd have to leave. It never hit her until she came down from the emotional high. By then, he was miles from her on his way back home. Of course he always called her, letting her know he was safe. The warmth would return the moment she heard his voice, but eventually she'd be on her own again. She'd often wonder if the emotional drop was worth the high, yet the moment he walked through her door, all those doubts would fade away. She knew it was irrational, but the fear grew inside of her. Would she see him again? Had she served him to his standards? She'd mentally go over all of her mistakes, and this morning was no different.

When her Master last visited, while she had been given many delicious orgasms, it was the first time he had used the whip on her. It was also the first time she used her safe word. The cutting, sharp pain of the whip took the air out of her lungs from the first lash. The second lash was worse, dragging a scream from her lips, and her only thought was the sweet relief her safe word would bring. He had been so good to her, holding and comforting her until her tears stopped and her breathing returned to normal. Then they had talked about why she had needed to use her safe word. He had been her sweet prince, never mind that He brought her to that point in the first place.

Lost in her thoughts, she was startled back to the now with a touch on her shoulder. Her face was stained with tears as she looked up to see her Master. She smiled sweetly and brushed away her tears. "Hello Master. I'm sorry I'm not in position. The time must have escaped me." He sat down next to her on the couch and pulled her onto His lap. Lifting her chin, he held her eyes with his own, his voice firm as he spoke, "Princess, tell me what's on your mind."

She squirmed under His gaze, "I was thinking about the last time you were here Master...and the whip." She looked away, shame and guilt overriding her senses. When he didn't respond, she glanced back at his face. He raised an eyebrow, and she knew that her answer wouldn't suffice. "I worry I'm not serving you as you need me to. I felt so weak when I came down from my high. You give me so much and yet I couldn't endure more than two strikes of the whip...and I worry when you leave that I'll never see you again Master. I know it's irrational, I'm your sub, your lover, your princess. But it consumes my thoughts, for being without you is like having no air to breathe."

He kissed her softly on the forehead and pulled her tight against him. "You should have told me this sooner. It's my job to look after you and I can't do that if you don't tell me something is wrong. As for the whip, you know I love to see you writhe in pain, but only if you, my dear, enjoy it too. You will never disappoint me as long as you give me all you have, which I've seen you do time and time again. You are my most precious treasure, never forget that. As for being without me, well, I was going to wait until after our fun, but this seems the perfect moment to bring it up. I know because of your job you can't move to me, however and this is only if you want, would you like it if I moved closer to you?" He watched her eyes light up, and her smile was one of pure delight.

"Oh Master! I would love that! But, why not move close by? This may seem bold, but I'd rather you move in with me," she said smiling coyly. "I know back when we began that I need my personal space, and it some ways I still do. Master, you mean more, I need you more than that. Even if you live here, we won't be together all the time anyway, but it'd be such a relief to know I'd be coming home to you every night."

This time he smiled brightly, "I'm glad you feel that way, my love. I didn't want to impose myself, though you are my sub, this is still your home. I'd be honored to share it with you. That being said, my rules and restrictions will only increase if we live together, you must know that. I will want all of you, from what clothing you wear, how often you cum, even to the food we eat. You know I'll always value your opinion, but the decisions will be mine to make. Is this something you truly crave?"

Moving her body so she straddled his hips, she pressed her lips softly against his, letting the kiss linger. She whispered, almost so quietly that he barely made out the words, "Yes Master." He grinned wickedly, relishing in his girl's need for him. "Go kneel in the middle of the room. Now." His tone of voice had completely changed and she slipped fully into her submissive state. She knelt in the middle of the room awaiting his command. He rummaged through one of his bags until he pulled out a simple, black blindfold and earplugs. He gently covered her eyes. "Stay here until I say otherwise, understand?" She nodded dutifully. Then he put in the earplugs, effectively cutting off all sound.

She felt the vibrations through the floor as he walked back to the couch. She had to have been kneeling for at least twenty minutes when she felt him walking toward and then past her. When she felt the front door slammed, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Had he just left her alone? She knew it was a test, but she didn't know what she was being tested on. All she knew was she had to trust him completely. That was the part she struggled with the most, letting go fully. The command was easy enough to obey for her body, but her mind didn't settle as easily. Her breathing began to quicken when he trailed a finger down her spine. How had he managed to get so close without her knowing? Immediately though, she had relaxed against his touch.

Another half an hour past. She hadn't felt him walk away, but she couldn't know for sure if he was still near her. Again, panic set in. She played out the same arguments in her head, how he would never leave her, yet still losing the battle. When she thought she couldn't take anymore and was about to reach for the blindfold, he stroked her hair and ran his thumb across her lips. She smiled and again calmed down. She was beginning to see the lesson he was trying to teach her. Just because she couldn't see him, didn't mean he wasn't there with her. She had told him her fears and doubts, now it was up to him to see her happy and content. She had chosen him as her Master and it was time she let him do his job.

This time, she focused on all the positive feelings he made her feel. All the peaceful, content moments of her life with him slowly drifted through her mind. She made it through an hour of silence and darkness without panicking once. He took out the ear plugs and pulled her back against his chest, supporting her. "Tell me what changed that third time." He always demanded her thoughts and emotions, didn't even bother to ask, as they both preferred it that way. She fidgeted, trying to find her emotional bearings. He waited patiently letting her gather her thoughts.

"The last time I focused on you Sir, and all the wonderful things you've made me feel. I realized that I chose you as my Master and it was time to let go. Bend to your will and surrender. You've proven time and again that you'll always be here for me, even when we're not physically together. You're my center. When I admitted and accepted that, the doubts went away. I was calm knowing that this is what you wanted of me. All of me, as you so put it earlier." She was thankful for the blindfold and for not facing him, as they made it easier for her to speak about her deepest emotions.

"So you begin to realize that your doubts had nothing to do with distance, good." She nodded, blushing. "You must let go of yourself and give it all to me. I will keep you safe and guide you. I will bear your doubts and fears just as I hold your sexuality in my control." He removed the blindfold and tilted her head back to face him. His eyes pored deep into hers as he asked, "Are you my toy, my pet, my plaything? Are you my slut, my whore, my nymph? Are you my love, my heart, my beautiful little girl?"

She shivered under his gaze. "I am your toy, your pet, your plaything. I am your slut, your whore, your nymph. I am your love, your heart, your little girl. I am all that you demand of me Master." Their lips met and he thrust his tongue into her mouth, tasting every inch inside, long ago learning all the curves and textures that awaited him. She submitted willingly to his probing tongue as she moaned. He reached down between her legs and found her soaking wet, just as she should be.

He pulled regretfully away from the kiss. She whimpered as she looked up at him, silently begging for more with a look. "Don't worry my sweet. This is just the beginning."

Redemption

"No! It can't end this way!" Raphael cried out. He slammed his fists in the sand, holding back all but one tear. He watches the liquid stain the sand beneath him, being absorbed back into the world. He had been sent down to guide a young woman, Michelle, toward her life's love. She had doubts about their future, and God had tasked him to help her find her way. He never planned on falling in love with her.

The day he first appeared to her, he came in human form. He was to befriend her and offer her advice when needed. Michelle was no ordinary woman though, being chosen by God to do great works, she saw Raphael for what he was. She told him that his wings were bathed in an ethereal presence. He still remembered how shocked he was that day.

She welcomed him into her life easily, allowing him to offer God's divine inspiration. They became close friends, and Raphael treasured every moment with her. One summer night, while lying on the grass in Michelle's back yard, she turned over to look at him. For a while she was silent, but what she said would forever be burned into his mind. "Raphael? Do you really think God means for me to marry Mike?"

He looked up at her, puzzled. "Yes of course. That's why I was sent here. Why? What's on your mind?" She was quiet and laid back down. This time Raphael turned to her. "Elle, tell me what's on your mind." She closed her eyes, sighing. He always had a way of getting her to open up to him, especially when she didn't want to.

"I have doubts. I wondered why He sent you to me, and not another angel...one I wouldn't fall in love with. He had to know. Is this a test? And if so, to what end?" He didn't know that answer. All he could do was hold her close as they lost themselves in thought.

It couldn't be God's plan though. As an angel, he was supposed to be above such thoughts and desires. Later that night, as Raphael tucked Elle into bed, she reached up, pulled him close, and kissed her. He was lost in that moment. When he awoke, he was Heaven and his Father was sitting on the edge of his bed. Raphael saw sadness in His eyes and feared for the worst. He had broken God's command. His Father thought it may come to this, but had hoped for a better end. Even angels had free will and could go against Him.

Raphael learned she wouldn't remember him or their time together. While God wouldn't completely erase her memories, it would seem as a dream and fade from her mind. He ran, far from Heaven, back to Earth, to a small beach on an uninhabited island. Needed to be alone from everyone and everything. He couldn't believe it was just last night he held Michelle in his arms and loved her body and mind. Now she was gone from him forever.

"You bastard! You knew I would love her and she would love me, yet sent me anyway. I did what You asked, trusting You. Father, how could You?" he sobbed. Looking up to the heavens, he silently pleaded that this had to be a mistake. Lucifer couldn't be right. Their Father loved them and would never hurt any of them like this. Right? Losing track of the hours, he knelt there on the sand past the setting of the sun and moon, until the sun once more approached the horizon. There he would stay until this nightmare began to make sense to him.

He didn't hear someone approach, and when the person touched the side of his face, he nearly jumped. Before him was Michelle. He had to be dreaming or delirious. Hands shaking, he reached out to touch her smiling face. When he felt the warmth of her skin, he broke down and pulled her close against him. "I don't understand. God made you forget me. How are you here?"

Elle laughed as she held him close. "My love, how could you think I would forget you so easily? When I woke up yesterday without you, I did think it was all a dream, until I remembered the day we met. I told you that your wings glowed. My room, especially the bed, had that same glow, and I knew something was wrong. I called out for you, and when you didn't come," she paused, chuckling,"I began yelling at God. I remembered it all and there was no way even He was going to take you from me. Raphael, He came to me, and know what I did? I confronted Him. I got in God's face.

He just stood there silently as I told him off. When I was done, I was crying my eyes out, my throat raw. Then He pulled me close and told me only one thing. 'I had to know for sure.' I opened my eyes to look up at Him but He was gone and I was standing on this beach, and you...you were there looking so lost and hopeless."

Raphael was at a lost for words. Did she hear right? Had his Father given His approval? He raised his head looking beyond her, and in the distance, there was his Father smiling at them. The sun breeched the horizon with a flash of light, and He was gone. Looking down at her smiling face, he was filled with peace and hope. He didn't know what his future held, and didn't care as long as he was with Michelle. They kissed passionately, and when they finally broke apart, Raphael flashed them from the beach. They were going home.

Trust Me

Inspired by a picture C sent me, and what occurred earlier this evening.


She walked toward him
Fear quickening her heart
He stood upon the edge of a cliff
The bottom hidden from view by clouds


"Trust me" he whispered to her
His hand gently grasping hers
Tears fell freely from her eyes
Avoiding what lay beyond her view


"I'm sorry my Love, I can't"
Sighing, he turned from her
Wings taking him to a brighter future
Though she was unaware


Falling to the ground
Her heart feeling torn out
Mind racing with unspoken thoughts
Abandoned on the edge of unknown


The sun and moon rose and rose again
Time slipping away into a calm state
Waiting for when he'd return
To lead her over the edge


Remembering his patience
Her thoughts grew quiet
Examining the loss of him
She found a hole in her heart


After many rising and settings
She stood at the edge, looking down
Clouds still blocked her way
Resolute was her soul


"I'm coming for you, I shall not let go"
She shouted to the heavens
Taking the final step
Falling into the darkness


Her eyes closed, she waited
The wind whipping around her body
Smiling at the freedom
Trusting he would come to her aid


With a gasp she felt arms catch her
"Trust me" she heard, relaxing
He flew them high into the clouds
Above the sea and sky


In the distance, a palace lay
Waiting for her to come home
He held her close in his arms 
Whispering the words she needed to hear


"Do not fear what you cannot control
I am your safety in the darkness
Trust me to guide you
For you are dear to me"

From a handmaiden to one of her Mistress's suitors

This was inspired by C's rendition of Shakespeare's Sonnet 18.

Gone away is summer's past

A decision laid at her feet

The charms of men soon grow tired

As summer fades to autumn

Wine and picnics in warm afternoons

Dancing away the hours of the night

Gracious words spoke from eager men

Ready to win her with a flower

Though as the weeks turned to months

The longing in her heart did grow

As the leaves began to fall

So did fade her smile

At night My Lord, I saw her weep

Counting down those wretched days

For by her Father's will

To one she'd be made a bride

On All Hallows's Eve you rode

Like a shadow in the night

Arriving with grandiosity

To place a wager in this game

Sharply you played your hand

Letting her find the path to you

So did I see her smile return and

With you, My Lord, her lot is cast

Beginning of a New Story (yet to be named)

This is the beginning to a new, and likely very, long story. The central themes around this are not new. In fact, many plot details have been mentally hashed over for several years now. However, up until now, I hadn't been able to find a start to this story that was acceptable. This has themes of romance, paranormal, and fantasy.


I will say that Christina will return, but the interactions between Nick and Bella will be the primary interest for awhile. She will be back in the story before her and Bella are reunited as I'll go into what happens from when she wakes up in that first morning until they meet again.


This is a post from my other blog, going into a bit more detail about concepts and characters who will appear later on in the story.



"What can I get you today Bella?" asked the barista, Jenny, behind the counter of Isabella White's favorite coffee shop. It was a local place, just a few blocks from her house. She'd be coming here for several years and all the employees knew her by name. Bella was a tall 5'6, seemingly taller as she was always wearing some kind of heeled shoe. Gorgeous red hair framed her heart shaped face, with stunning green eyes that glistened with unspoken knowledge. She knew how to rock her hourglass figure with every outfit she wore.

"Two large mochas to go. I'm going to Christina's after this. She just moved into her new place. I don't want her to be alone right now, especially after the breakup with Rod." Jenny gave her a sympathetic look, knowing first hand what bad breakups were like. Within a few minutes, Bella was out of the shop and off to her best friend's place. Tina and Bella had been friends since middle school, clicking from the moment they met. They had been inseparable ever since, even going to the same college. That's where Tina had met Rod, and while Bella had never liked the guy, she respected her friend enough to let her live her own life. It was a year after their graduation and the relationship had crumbled. Rod had abandoned her for another woman, leaving Tina to pick up the pieces of her life on her own.

After a quick five minute walk across town, Bella knocked on Tina's front door. "Bella!" she yelled as she hugged Isabella tight. "Oh how I'm glad to see you. There's so much to get done and I don't know where to even begin. Come on inside and I'll show you around." Christina led her into the living room, which was on the left from the entrance hall way. On the left was a staircase leading to the second floor and at the end of the hall, she was able to see part of the kitchen. The couches were already uncovered so they sat for a minute, drinking coffee and catching up. It had been two months since they really had gotten a chance to have some time together.

"Tina, it's so good to see you again. I've missed you, and I'm glad we'll be living in the same town again. I know you were thinking about buying a house, but you never said anything definite either way. This place is gorgeous by the way. I love the Victorian architecture. You really got lucky with this place."

"I know, I fell in love with this house the moment I saw it. I was thinking about buying it, but given everything that's happened, buying didn't feel right. The rent is very reasonable so I'm comfortable with the decision for now. The owners also mentioned that if I ever change my mind, they're more than willing to negotiate a sale. So I hate to put you to work right away, but there's a lot to get done and not enough time to get it all done today!" The young women laughed, having helped each other move plenty of times in the past, they both knew that they could become easily distracted for hours talking. The day went by quickly, but they managed to get most of the downstairs unpacked. The large kitchen was now stocked and the cabinets full. The dining room hadn't needed much work, beyond setting up the china cabinet, which Tina planned to do another day. Curtains were hung, rugs laid out, furniture arranged. By the end of the evening, both women were absolutely exhausted and decided to go out to one of the local restaurants for dinner and drinks.

There was a little place called D'Angelos in between both of their homes, which was known for its' burgers and home made fries. They ended up staying until the bar closed, drinking cocktails and having fun. Forgetting, even if for a little while, their responsibilities and hardships. Isabella noticed one man was watching them throughout the night, but whenever she would mention it to Tina, the man would be watching a game on one of the TVs. At one point Tina said, "You're obviously interested in the guy. Ask him to join us." When Bella shook her head, she continued, "Bella, when was the last time you got laid, hmm? I know it's been awhile. He's a good looking guy. I'm not telling you to date him, just have a bit of fun." Bella refused again, still having an uneasy feeling about the man. But by the end of the night, the man was forgotten as they stumbled back to Bella's place.

Since Tina had just moved in, Isabella offered her the guest bedroom until the rest of the house was in order. They arrived home safely and almost immediately went to the separate rooms. They called out good night and then the house was quiet and dark. Across the street, under the glow of a street light, stood the man from the bar. He was smoking a cigarette, watching the house before him. He was known to most as Steel, though his real name was Nicholas, or Nick, Hall. At 6'4, his height was imposing on its own, and mixed with his toned physique, the average person tended to avoid him. There was something about his aura that made even the toughest biker second guess starting a fight with him. He had dark brown hair and hazel eyes that liked to change colors depending on his mood. Currently, he was wearing black slacks and dress shirt, but his outfits depended on the job and the location.

Nicholas wondered if he should make his move tonight. Given the amount of alcohol she had consumed, her resistance would be weakened. Unfortunately, he hadn't planned on her friend going home with her. He knew her name was Isabella White, that she had grown up in this same small town, she left for college at 17, and returned right after graduation. He didn't know much about Christina Miller, other than she was Isabella's best friend. She wasn't his target though, so it didn't matter much. He decided to take a chance and execute his plan. He went around to an alley out behind the house, and walked up to the back door. He checked the lock and found it unbarred. He was going to have a word with Isabella after tonight. There were plenty of bad people out there who would easily pounce on an opportunity like this. He chose to ignore the irony of this thoughts and focus on finding his way upstairs in the dark.

Nick had excellent night vision and easily found his way to the master bedroom. The door was open and for a moment he just watched her sleep. He couldn't believe that so much was riding on this one young woman, and she didn't have a clue. Confident that she was fast asleep, he moved to the side of her bed. She was sleeping on her left hand side, facing him. He touched her right shoulder and whispered, "Eo, tractus, vicis. Obduco per inritus. Trans rectus quod ager. Vicis, tractus, eo." The room began to shift focus, as colors blended, and changed. Nicholas was thankful Isabella was fast asleep as the travel by magic was disconcerting, even for a seasoned veteran like himself. It felt like they were being blown through a tunnel, lights and colors whizzing by so quickly that they appeared as long streaks. Nick felt intense pressure along his whole body, not entirely painful, but not pleasant either. When the color regained focus, they were in his house. He took a deep breath when they arrived, muttering to himself about how he hated traveling like that. He owned an ocean front home on the coast of New Hampshire. From the front, the house appeared a normal size, but he had built it into the side of the cliff, and was twenty times larger than it seemed. It was all his. Until this moment, no other living person had been inside his home, even interrogations happened at other locations. This was his sanctuary and he risked it all bringing Isabella here. But if she was to fulfill her destiny, she would need everything at his disposal.

They had been transported to his bedroom and he careful laid her underneath the covers of his bed. He brushed the stray hairs from her face before gently kissing her forehead. Then he took a seat in one of the lounge chairs in the room and waited. Come morning, both of their lives would change forever. He had so much to teach her, and not nearly enough time to do it. Throughout the night he pondered how she would accept her new life. Would she resist, or deep down would she feel the same draw to it that he had so many years ago? He wondered how she was going to react when he found out he kidnapped her in the middle of the night, and what she would do when she found out his age. Magic had given him many more years than a natural life had to offer, yet he looked no older than thirty five. He was just beginning to get into the best part of his life, having devoted centuries to studying and practicing his arts.

She was a prophesied warrior, a savior of sorts. Yet the final battle was near, too close for Nick's comfort. He still had doubts, even knowing her potential, that the woman barely more than a girl could save them all. He had discovered her prophecy is several ancient texts, many older than known civilization. They all spoke of a female priestess/warrior/mage, the terminology changed yet the message was the same. The world would need this woman in order to be spared a second coming of demonic control, and if he was lucky, he'd have a few years to teach her all she needed to know. Knowledge that should take centuries to learn. Unless a miracle occurred, he didn't see how it was possible.

He kept an eye on her throughout the night while he went through his daily habit of casting basic spells. He checked the wards and found them all secure. He checked Isabella's overall health, and saw nothing that concerned him, though he saw she needed to get in better shape. While she wasn't overweight by any means, she needed more muscle mass, both for magic and for the upcoming fights. Around six in the morning, just as the sun was beginning to rise, he heard her stretch and looked up to see if she was waking up. Instead she smiled sweetly and curled her body up. He found himself smiling, surprised at how something so innocent and simple could still affect him. His mind struggled until she woke up, knowing he was going to destroy everything that was pure, simple, and innocent about her. It came with the territory of fighting a secret war and watching unsuspecting bystanders get caught in the crossfire.

Around nine, Isabella's eyes fluttered open and she stretched out, waking up slowly. Her body froze not recognizing where she was, and when she looked over in Nicholas's direction her eyes opened wide. She recognized him as the man from the bar the night before, the one who gave her the creeps. Panic spread in, as she watched the man stand and move towards her. He knew the moment had come, where he'd begin taking her apart and building her back up. She'd never be the same.

Tears

This was written around March of '04, during my freshman year of high school. I still remember the feelings I had when I wrote it, and who I wrote it about.

I see you crying now
I never thought that could be true
You were the strongest
Still are

Now I realize my tears
Are yours too
Hating to see you like this
Knowing it's my fault

Please stop crying
My guilt only increasing
Never did I know that your tears
Weren't meant for me

I can't bare
To see you like this
I know I caused this
That you want a share of the pain

Those tears, that stare, STOP
I can't take anymore
My guilt, uncomprehending care
Those tears shouldn't be there

Shouldn't see you upset
Tears tell all
Painful stares too
I need you

Don't leave me now
Don't go, please

I can't be left
With just tears

Alone

This was written some time in high school, very likely during my freshman year.


Trapped in a world of darkness
I wait for someone to find me
I'm nothing, have no one
Friends betray, Love lost
Even family won't lend a helping hand

No light, only black
No one here to save me
Wishing for only a thought or feeling
Nothing comes
Won't somebody help

Do you have to leave me here
I build my own fortress
Bricks, only black
If they find me
it's too late

Not a care in my heart
No longer existing
Soul fading
Body numbing
No more to take

Leave me here
I can't go back
I'm nothing anymore
Stuck in my darkness
Just me, alone

Lessons We Refuse To Learn and The Lies We Tell Ourselves

All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put humpty back together again
So who are we to play god
Letting the world pillage and rape as we nod

We tell ourselves sweet fairy tales
As all that is before us turns so pale
Mocking innocence oh so pure
Fire and madness consuming our lore

Girls in red cloaks, wolves at their door
Haven't we heard this story before
Thousands of lives we've tried to learn
Still the plains continue to burn

Two children walk, a boy and girl
Through the woods they laugh and twirl
Until their lives end too short
As they say, that's all she wrote

Why tell history if it's to be forgot
What is the meaning of those in graves who rot
No point in tales and all the stories
If we continue to create the same worries

A New Life

This is a short story I just wrote. It's a bit rough, but it's raw emotion. I purposefully didn't use names for any of the characters. Not entirely sure why, but it seemed to fit. Any resemblance to any living or dead person is purely coincidental....maybe ;)



His grip was tight on her wrist as he led her down the dark tunnel. Torches on the walls cast flickering shadows, causing the girl to jump at the slightest noises, fearing they were caught. She looked over her shoulder as they approached a set of stairs. No one was in sight, but she thought she heard footsteps pounding in the distance. He pushed her ahead of him up the stairs, glancing down the tunnel before following her. She had no idea how far down they were and without any exits, she darted step to step up the spiraled staircase. Clutching her dress in her hands, she kept her eyes on her feet so she wouldn't slip or fall. She felt a hand on her back and spun around to face her lover.

He pointed beyond her, and she saw they had made it to a door. She stepped out of the way, and he went up to the door, ear pressed to the key hole listening. After a minute of no sound, he cautiously opened the door. Seeing no one in their view, they quickly walked down the carpeted hall, her small hand enfolded in his. They made it to the stables without seeing a soul. A carriage with two horses was waiting for them, along with her lover's good friend, a stable hand for the Duke. The man sighed in relief upon seeing them, and quickly ushered the girl inside the carriage. Her lover climbed up front to take hold of the reigns. She heard the two men speak, but couldn't make out the words. Then with a crack of the reigns, they were gone, heading far away from her prison.

Alone with her thoughts, she wondered if she was trading one prison for another. While she loved him, she barely knew anything about her lover. From the pieces of his past that she had managed to gather, he was a wealthy business man, one of London's finest bankers. She also was from London, but was whisked away to the countryside before her tenth birthday. Five years later, the Duke came for her, and after a long ride north, she found herself in her new home. She had spent three years in that hell, a voiceless victim to a well connected, wealthy, yet evil man. The horrors she endured in those dungeons scarred her mind, and after a year, she no longer fought the Duke. By all appearances, she seemed to be a loving and devoted wife. Inside, she was withering away. That was until she met her lover, a man who swept her off her feet from the moment they met. He was just as old as the Duke, yet his age did not bother her like it had with her husband. He was a breath of fresh air in her closed off world.

He was respectful and courteous to all when he came to visit the Duke. That's how he became good friends with the stable hand, and how he found out about the beautiful's girl horrible world. She had her own bed chambers, far from her husband's. One night she awoke to find the wealthy banker sitting on the edge of her bed. She panicked, but he soothed her fears, he only wanted to ask her questions. At first, she resisted and gave him general assurances that her life was wonderful. He was persistent though and coaxed her to tell him the entire truth. When she began crying, he held her close and stroked her hair. He promised he would do everything in his power to take her away and keep her safe.

It was six months from that point, and she was starting to wonder if it would be possible. Her worst fears came to be when the Duke took her down to the dungeons. Except he asked no questions of her, he only wanted to unleash his cruel and sadistic nature on her vulnerable body. That is where her lover found her, breaking her chains both physical and mental. She wondered if the footsteps she heard were real or if it was her blood rushing through her body she heard. She believed the latter as in the past, she wouldn't be released from her bonds until at least mid-day, if not later. No one should have come to look for her, not even now as the sun had just begun to rise over the horizons.

She remembered the countless nights she had spent in his arms, her mind and body being loved by a man who was not her husband. When she was with him, she could forget her life and just be in the moment. She felt loved and cherished, things sorely lacking her marriage. A bump from the road brought her back to the present, and she began looking to the future. Her lover was her knight in shining armor and if he was going to hurt her, she felt he would have done so long before this point. When the sun began to set, she realized they weren't heading in the direction of London. They had been heading to the eastern coast. They stopped just before the sun set for the evening. As the door opened, she fell into his arms sobbing, needing to be close to him. He held her close and soothed her with words and soft caresses. He lifted her chin and kissed her lips gently. She looked past his shoulders and gasped at what she saw. A beautiful church on a hillside was before them. Stained glass windows glistened in the dusk light, casting a multicolored glow over the lush grass and trees.

She looked up at her lover, and saw him smiling down at her. He led her up to the church, her arm resting on his as they walked. Her mind was racing, not understanding what was happening. An elderly nun was waiting for them as the approached. She smiled at both and took the girl's hand, leading her inside and off into a small room. Her lover was met by the priest who led him into another small room on the opposite side of the church. In her designated room, a gorgeous green wedding gown was laid out on a small bed. On the desk was a long, pale green veil with yellow and white crystals sowed in. The nun helped her quickly do her hair and then into her dress. It fit like a glove and she realized her love must have had it made for her. The shoes were lightly padded slippers, dyed green to match her gown. A simple matching necklace and earrings pulled her outfit together. She took one look in the mirror at the finished product, not able to stop smiling. The nun motioned that it was time, and led her back into the main church. Waiting at the end of the aisle were the priest and her love. He was wearing a stunning green and black kilt, and a silk black shirt. They had eyes for only each other as the nun escorted her to him.

She barely heard the words the priest spoke, too stunned and happy to care about the details. When he reached the point of vows, she stumbled, looking between the priest and her love realizing that she couldn't marry him. She was already a married women and told the priest such. He informed her that her marriage was never legal before the Church or the state as the Duke, in his haste, had never filed the proper paperwork. She shook her head, not understanding, and then it hit her. Her love must have gotten rid of all the documentation of the marriage. That's why it had taken him so long. He smiled at her, seeing she finally understood. The wedding continued smoothly, and finally the priest announced them husband and wife. They kissed and the world melted away. She was loved and treasured, now married to a good man. He had found a beautiful, intelligent, and loving wife in the woman before him. He had waited his whole life to meet someone like her, and now that she was truly his, he was never letting her go.

Breath Play

Written today, May 10th. First NEW poem posted.


Head spinning
Clawing for breath
Seeing a room full of fresh air
Just out of reach

Eyes are getting heavy
Clear plastic clinging
What I'd give
For just one breath

Feeling tingling, a wetness
Being pushed over the edge
Body shaking
Smile on my face

Film torn, air rushes in
Chin in His hand
Eye meeting eyes
Glowing with pride

Light

Written Oct. 2007


How could it be
In the darkest times
There's a great light
Shining for all to see

Did we ever realize
That this could be so real
Why did it take so much darkness
To bring light to us

We stand on the road
Of greatness and possibilities
While those we've lost are left behind
Fading as time passes away

Did it have to take
So much pain and suffering
To bring us together again
Seems just yesterday you went away

Oh how I wish I knew
The right words to say
To make everything better
All I can offer is my heart

Don't let the darkness
Take you over
Lead you down a bad path
Because I'm still here with you

Forget
And you will be forgotten
Remember
And you have much to gain

So I sit here
Remembering you
And I wonder
Do you remember me

You are my dearest light
I still need you here
Come down this path with me
Together we will chase the stars

Set Me Free

Written Oct. '07

Light is all I look for
and everything that I need
Come save me from this dark
hellish place in which I live

Be my guide through tough times
watch my back
Be a friend and a lover
guard me from all harm

I've been waiting too long
to lose this chance
Finally love and live
help me get there

Help set free this caged bird
that I have become
Light be all I need
to make it paradise

Ready to Fight Again

Written in Feb. 2008

Here we go again,

I know you missed me too and in the end,

it's now how it always has been

You and me, always together

fighting side by side

No matter the struggles we face

you'll always be there

Countless lives we've lived

you've never let me down once

I know you never will

Having my back,

we'll fight the demons that come our way

and we know somehow we'll make it through

Whether by sword, or carefully placed word

they'll never stop us

Though the wold may not understand

what exactly it is we do

it doesn't really matter

Facing another foe

waiting to fight, ready as all hell

So here we go again

Another Lost Victim To Society

Chorus
They're tearing out my soul
Replacing my good heart
I'm becoming as they are
All the good in the world
Sheds their tears
Another lost victim to society

Verse
Tears falling from my eyes
Can't hold back the pain inside
I'm not who I used to be
That's such a scary thought
They've made me into something I'm not
And I don't even have
The will to fight

Verse
The chains are getting tighter
I don't know what to do
Part of me wants to accept it
Embrace the new change
I just don't think I could
Live with myself of I did

Verse
A perfect clone in an unhappy world
No one left to fight the good fight
We've abandoned ourselves
To a miserable person's will
All the lost victims to society
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Love Not My Own

This was written back in Feb. 2008


Don't know where I went wrong
I just can't go on anymore
Don't know what to do
I think about you all the time
And all I can do is smile
When you're around

I messed up and I did wrong
Wishing I could take back all the pain
I'm so ashamed
You're out of my life now
Hoping you're okay
That I didn't crush your spirit

I know she makes you happy
I made you happy too
But we both know better
There's no happy ending for us
If she gives you that perfect life
Take it, you deserve one
'Cause I hurt you so bad
I hope she can heal your wounds

I've seen you two together
The perfect couple in a perfect world
I can smile when I see you two
Knowing you're happy
Though it kills me inside

I'm really sorry for everything
Be happy live and love
Take care of each other
And never let go

Consequences

Written July 2008


Shattered mirror reflects her soul
All the lies won't help her now
Not when she sees herself like this
Lies not even she believed
Cold, hard tears stream
Down her pretty face
But not even they will glisten

Tattered past tore her apart
Slowly, piece by piece
Love to fill the void
When no love could be found
Not where she was looking
Bringing men to her bed
Instead of her heart

Sitting in that dark attic
She sees the darkness in herself
Knowing she can't go on this way
But another guy just left
Once more waiting for the next night
She knows she'll let him in
Even if it will kill her

Naked, she stands before the shattered mirror
Sees for once as the men see her
Pieces, not the whole
Doesn't know how to fill
The emptiness clawing inside her
Can't fit the pieces back together
To make her whole once more

The lies are all gone though
She can't hide the truth anymore
Knows her mistakes
Her failed attempts
Sorrowed soul
All that surrounds her is the darkness
It can't help her now

Eyes stare back that mock her
The deadened look that never ends
Her soul won't shine through
'Cause there's nothing bright
Left in her
There is no fixing this wound
Only the darkness is left

Short Story

This is a short story I wrote one day that I hope to add to at some point. :)

A short story, in comparison to everything else that I'm working on. A mix of non-consensual, domination, light bondage, s&m (whip), and even a bit of romance. Still a fairly rough draft, as far as I'm concerned. Comments, critiques, and smiling faces are all appreciated. Enjoy!

Also, this may only be erotica, but I put my time and effort into it. So please, do not use this as your own or share it on other site without my written permission. Thank you.

Crystal struggled to open her eyes, her lids heavy as if she’d slept in too late. Startled, she realized she was surrounded by darkness, with just a faint light illuminating her skin from above. Her arms were pulled high above her. Looking up, she saw her wrists in chains. She panicked, twisting and struggling against the bonds. She tried to slip her hands through, but the metal was tight against her skin, leaving her no escape. She calmed herself down, knowing panic would sit in soon enough, and she wanted her wits about her if…when someone emerged from the darkness.

Breathing in and out slowly, she distracted herself trying to remember last night, to figure out how she got in this horrid situation. Crystal remembered going out with a few friends to a new night club. She had a lot of fun, meeting a number of good looking guys, one she planned on meeting there next week. She remembered his name, Eric. He had seemed so sweet, a total gentleman. Beyond that was blank; she couldn’t remember leaving the club. Now she didn’t know if she’d make it through the night, if it was indeed still nighttime, or if she’d ever see the light of day again. She stared into the darkness, trying to see or hear something, but wherever she hung was both dark and deathly silent.

She must have dozed off for a bit, as when she next opened her eyes, a man stood before her. He hovered on the edge of the light, shielding his face from her view. He wore all black, though his clothes and shoes were of good quality. She searched what she could see of his face, trying to read it, but the shadows hid him well. When he spoke, chills went down her spine, as she realized her captor was the gentleman who had held her attention all night.

“As you can see, you are helpless. Captured prey to a very devious man. If you don’t fight me and obey my every command, you will find your stay with me quite enjoyable. Resist and you will find out how wicked and cruel I can be.” He stalked around her, still keeping to the shadows, even though she knew his identity now. “Well my prize?”

Crystal spat at him, nauseous that she flirted with him, and disgusted that he would do this. “Fuck you!” He stepped fully into the light, and grabbed a fist full of her hair, pulling her head back. He glowered down at her, his face searching hers. Then smiled wickedly, seeing her fear surfacing. He pressed his lips against hers in a surprisingly gentle kiss, then let go and stepped back into the darkness. She could hear him moving about, the ringing of something metal falling to the floor, and a cracking sound she couldn't place.

His voice echoing, he said, “Are you sure you don’t wish to change your mind? I’ll still have to punish you for disobedience, but that will be nothing compared to what I plan to do to you…” His voice trailed off, leaving his threat hanging in the air. She was suddenly very scared. She hadn’t seen him as a true threat until that moment. Her conversation with him in the club had led her to a state of complacency, but she truly knew nothing about this man and what he was capable. He could kill her without a second thought and no one would ever know. Suddenly, obeying him didn’t seem like that bad of an idea, at least until she was in a better position to escape this madness.

Finding her voice, “Wait! Please…I’ll obey you. Just don’t hurt me, please.” Her situation came crashing down upon her, tears falling freely from her eyes. “I’ll do whatever you want. I don’t want to die…”

Silence met her response. She waited and hoped it was enough. “Tsk, tsk. While I’m glad you’re willing to obey me now, I don’t want you to do so out of fear. I have no intention of killing you. I didn’t go through the trouble of getting you here so you could die. No, I plan on having your obedience and devotion. You will obey me out of love and a desire to please me. However, I know that will come in time. Now, onto your punishment.” He strode back to her, causing her to gasp as he came into view holding a whip in his right hand.

She shook her head, her eyes wide. “Disobeying me again little one?” Crystal stilled her head. Shock stopping her tears as she just stared at him in despair. “That’s better. Now you’ll want to stay very still.” Eric pulled out a pocket knife and flipped it open. He tossed the whip on the floor as his hands explored her body. One hand gently coursing through her hair, down the side of her face. His fingertips trailing her throat, down between her breasts. Her eyes followed the hand with the knife as he cut away her clothes. First her shirt, her bra following quickly after. His free hand pinched each nipple, calling them forth to attention.

Crystal inhaled deeply feeling his hands on her body. She wanted to tremble and pull away, but the knife in his hand forced her to stay completely still. She blushed as her breasts were exposed, shuddering as he touched her nipples. She just wanted this nightmare to end, but knew it was only beginning as he began cutting away the rest of her clothes. Her skirt was off her in a heartbeat. He paused with her panties, seeming to admire the soft black silk with ribbons on the side.

Her thoughts trailed back to the club where she teased this man, Eric, by hinting at her panties, which came undone by simply pulling the ribbons. Even now, she hoped he remembered as these were her favorite pair of panties. She knew it was a trivial thing to worry about, but it somehow mattered that he didn’t destroy everything of hers.

He grinned up at her, seeing her distress, and simply pulled the ribbons on each side, letting the panties fall to the floor. He chuckled as she sighed visibly, bathing in the power he held over her. He moved behind her and whispered in her ear, “I remember everything you told me last night. I wouldn’t have destroyed your clothing if they could be removed like those panties. I enjoyed seeing you in nice clothes, and you’ll get the chance to wear even nicer items. Soon, with your proper submission to me, you’ll be my princess by day and my beautiful slut by night.” Eric gently kissed the side of her neck, nuzzling against her. He closed the knife, placed it back in his pocket, and let his hands trail along her body.

He pressed against her back while his hands explored her breasts; his fingers soft and gentle causing her to arch against his touch. But every time she did, he’d pull away, leaving her wanting. This happened a few times before Crystal realized that Eric wanted her to be still. To submit to him and allow him to do as he desired. She wanted his touch, so much more of it, but she’d have to give in to him. She sighed, and leaned into his strong body, becoming limp, submitting.

She didn’t see him grin down at her, knowing that she made her second conscious decision to submit to his desires. He moved one hand down her stomach, down further to her pussy. It was sparsely covered with hair, which he already decided would go. He liked his women with no hair, and since she would be his like no one ever had been or would ever be, he could see that she would fulfill his every desire and need. She would be his, fully and completely. He knew from their conversation earlier that she was intelligent, strong willed, open with her emotions, and a terrible tease. All things he loved; all things he hoped would make her strong enough to handle the emotional turmoil of giving up everything she had known for a life as a slave. His slave, and when she behaved, he’d treat her as royalty and would make sure she was sated every single night.

While Eric had been deep in thought, his fingers had begun playing with her clit, rubbing it slowly and softly, just enough to tease. He could hear her panting, her body wiggling seductively against his. He wanted to take her, now. But first, her punishment. She would learn what it meant to disobey. He bent down and picked up the discarded whip. Crystal has opened her eyes once more, her fear and tears returning. When she seemed about to plead for him to stop, he put a finger to his lips. She got the point and kept quiet.

“I won’t tolerate disobedience. You will learn to behave as my slave should. The pain will remind you that your body is not your own, but instead my property. Understand my lovely?” Crystal nodded, too scared to speak. He smiled at her, but it was not meant to bring her comfort.

Eric moved behind Crystal and tested out the whip a few times, making her jump every time she heard the cracking sound. He brought the first strike onto her back without mercy. The whip had left a large red welt going from her right shoulder down to her left hip. It didn’t draw blood though, Eric having mastered the whip long ago. He watched as she jumped, and drew in a deep breath. She didn’t scream, but likely the shock had stopped her from reacting. She’d be screaming soon enough however.

“You’ll receive ten lashes, slave. I’m going easy on you. Be grateful.” Crystal could barely breathe, let alone think, but his words struck her harder than the whip. This was going easy on her? This man had to be insane. She knew by now that he would deliver her punishment in full, no matter what she said. Begging now might make things worse for her, so she kept her silence which seemed to please him.

He brought down the whip for the full ten strikes. The second strike mirrored the first on her back, causing Crystal to scream out and shake from the pain. The next three landed across her luscious ass. Never hard enough to draw blood. He moved before her, the whip cracking on each perky c-cup breast, careful to avoid her nipples. She was sobbing openly, her eyes pleading for him to stop, for him to show mercy. Neither of which she’d get. One more strike landed across both breasts underneath. Eric watched as her eyes nearly popped out of her head, her breath ragged now. He moved back around, the last two landing across the back of her thighs. Those were the worst. Crystal didn’t scream for either, her breath gone from her lungs. She slumped forward, her weight being supported by the chains on her wrists.

Concerned, Eric tossed the whip aside again and moved in front of Crystal, holding her against him. He checked her pulse and breathing, both were a bit erratic, but nothing to cause huge concern over. He was more worried for her mind as her eyes were glazed over. He battled himself in his mind. He had broken her. His prize was now ruined. She was perfect and he had ruined her. No, she’d be fine. It was just a bit of shock. Give her a minute. She’s his slave and tougher than that.

He whispered, “Crystal, please say something. Please hun, talk to me. Let me know you’re alright.” He sighed in relief as he watched Crystal respond to his words, blinking a few times and looking up at him. Her eyes were still slightly glazed over, but she also looked confused. “Oh thank goodness you’re all right! You had me worried there for a minute.”

She tried to speak, but nothing came out. He let her down gently, making sure she could support herself before going in the darkness. He returned with a bottle of water and helped her drink it slowly. When she’d had enough, she spoke, “Why…why do you care?” Now he looked confused. “Why do you care if I’m ok? I’m just a slave, right? You whipped me. It hurt, like it was meant to. So why care if I’m alright?”

He chuckled softly, understanding her confusion. He took her head in both of his hands, and gently kissed her. “I care because you are my slave now. I plan on keeping you for the rest of your life. Of course I don’t want to harm you. I will punish you if you misbehave, but I will never harm you physically or mentally. That’s why I was so worried. I thought your mind couldn’t handle the punishment. I was afraid I had been too harsh and had lost you…”

Crystal thought about his words. He wanted her for life, and wanted more than any man had ever desired from her. Yet he cared for her more than any man ever had. She was torn, but she smiled softly up at him, letting him know she understood. He kissed her gently once more, slid around to her back and just held her against him for a few minutes. Both of them getting lost in their own thoughts, of a future neither of them had ever hoped to have with another person.

He whispered once more in her ear, “Open your eyes and keep them open.” He move to her front, unzipped his pants and pulled out his already hard cock. Her eyes were wide, knowing full well what was coming next. He also saw the lust in her eyes and the rest of her body. Despite the pain, her pussy was slick with her juices, more than ready for him.

He moved against her, wrapping her legs around his hips. She didn’t try to stop him, but instead her legs clung tight, desperate from his touch and from her situation. He rubbed his cock against the outside of her pussy, teasing her more, before plunging his full length deep inside her. He paused, letting her adjust to him, not wanting to harm his new toy. He shuddered as her muscles clutched him tightly, pumping and milking him with her soft, velvet walls.

Crystal’s eyes locked with his, no longer caring how she got here, only that he was her source of release and that she would obey him endlessly, if only for a moment of passion. She would never have admitted it, but her sexual experiences had been dull at best, disheartening at the worst. She would still tease and flirt, hoping to one day meet someone who could make her soar. She was an avid reader of romance novels, though she kept that fact secret from everyone. All she ever wanted was to be cherished and to have passion with her partner. In the arms of a stranger, one who had kidnapped her no less, her passions and desires were set free.

She moved her body against the cock inside of her; her need fueled by the way he stared into her eyes and smiled at her. She could see he cherished her, and that she was more than a good lay to him. He had wanted her so bad he had kidnapped her! While she didn’t approve of his methods, she smiled at knowing how much he wanted, no needed her.

He thrust into her like a wild man, both panting and moaning. Her lips met his, their tongues meeting with passion. He was fucking her mouth just as intensely as her pussy, and she met him with the same intensity. He pulled back from their kiss as he climbed to an orgasm, his eyes on her beautiful face as he climaxed inside of her. He knew he had satisfied her completely, both of them covered in her juices. He could feel the warm liquid still trailing down his legs. He grinned knowing that his fluids were now mixed with hers, deep inside of her pussy, claiming her.

Crystal leaned her head against Eric’s shoulder, spent and exhausted. She didn’t know how long they had fucked, and she wasn’t naïve to call it anything else. It seemed like hours, and yet mere minutes. Time had meant nothing as he led her to orgasm after orgasm. She had never cum by anything other than her own ministrations before. Yet bound in chains, and dominated by will power, she had been free to let her passion run wild. She was in a numb suspension, smiling, as she felt her hands sliding down to meet her body. Eric ran his hands over her arms, massaging them to get the blood going properly again. She barely noticed the stinging, too caught up in a state of bliss unfamiliar to her.

Eric picked her up easily and carried her past the darkness, through a doorway, up into the main part of his house. Crystal had her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around his neck, almost fast asleep. He knew she wouldn’t remember even coming up the stairs. When he got to his bedroom, he laid her carefully onto his bed and covered her up. He laid down beside her and held her close to him. His woman, slave, toy, prize.

Words weren’t enough for what he felt about her. Little did she know that he had been watching her for close to a year now, having seen her at last year’s company BBQ. She had no idea last night that she was talking to one of the chairman of the very company she worked for. Eventually she’d work for him as his secretary. Until then, he had taken time off for both of them. No one would question him being gone for a few weeks as he trained this lovely women to be his, and only his. When she came to work for him, no one would remember she was a secretary to some pencil pusher at one of the lowest levels of the company. Every detailed had been perfectly planned.

He grabbed some cuffs from a side drawer. The cuffs locked, but were comfortable enough to sleep in as they were lined with fur. He locked on both cuffs and attached them to a chain which was connected to one of the boards underneath the bed. She would have no way to escape if she woke before him. As much as she had enjoyed herself, he didn’t trust her yet to not leave him if she could. He pulled her close to him as he drifted off to sleep, content for now. His thoughts already churning with ideas of how he would train Crystal; his dreams continuing where his thoughts left off…

Mixed Feelings

I know all of this is wrong
That these feelings should disappear
But they won't, and I can't stop how I feel
I can't keep doing this to myself
Playing this game in my head
That leads me to self-destruction
Please, leave me be

As I wander the shadows
Trying to pick up the pieces of my heart
Can't accept your help anymore
Because you keep crushing me
Even with your good intentions
Stop caring for me
I'll only confuse it with love