Broken

This is a song I just wrote. I really like how it came out. Funny enough, I was inspired by some Christian show that was playing in the background. I had been watching the Price is Right and hadn't changed the channel yet. All I heard the woman say was "this feeling I can not shake" and the song was born from there. :)

"Broken"

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

Why do we keep making this feel so wrong
Just one more night and in the morning it's gone
I can't play this game for much too long
It's all just a fleeting moment
A shared kiss, lingering embrace
But when the sun rises we're both alone

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

In the beginning it all went right
You were my knight in shining armor
Buying flowers and opening doors
But the fights and nights screaming
Can only be swept away for so many times
So I walked out the door and out your life

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

You're an addiction and I need a fix
I come crawling back for that sweet release
Try to tell you it's just this once
Yet I'm at your door the next night
Needing the sweetness and comfort
Before the vicious cycle starts again

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

When will I learn that you're bad for me
I know I'm not right for you either
The game is done, we've played it out
There are no second chances here
So just before the light breaks
I'll leave a note and disappear

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try so hard to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
We've always been broken

A final goodbye, one last kiss
You won't see me anymore

Tease

Another new poem

"Tease"

She sits at the bar in a popular club
Dazzling smile captivating the room
Toss of her silky black hair
A cute laugh bubbling from her lips

Men line up to buy her a drink
Eager her a moment of her attention
She'll flirt with them
Make them feel lucky, special

The end of the night comes
As it always does
Leaving the bar alone
Another lonely night in her bed

I've seen her sad sighs
Thinking no one was watching
I've brought her countless drinks
Yet I don't know her name

Wanting to pull her aside, asking
"For how long will you play this game?"
Wonder how bad she's been hurt
Masking pain with attention

I went to work one night
Imagine my surprise to see
An empty stool in a crowd of people
One that never gets filled

Since that night I've never seen her
Hoping her game was over
The men moved on to a new pretty gal
But I still wonder what happened

Starting Over

This is a new poem I just wrote. I'm really not sure who I'm writing about here, if there is anyone in particular. It reminds me of my main high school boyfriend more than anyone else.




"Starting Over"

All the questions don't matter now
As love turns to heart ache
The words have been said
More times that either of us can count

I will remember the moments
Where you made me feel special
Keep close the lessons
You fought so hard to teach me

Yet I'm not bitter or angry
Knowing forever wasn't meant to be
I'll pick up the pieces of my heart
And rebuild for a better tomorrow

A Night Out

Part I:

I was visiting one of my usual hangouts on a Friday night, one of the smaller jazz clubs on a side street in the heart of the city. I usually take a seat towards the back, but I was running late so I had to grab a seat at a table in the middle of the room. The club had the usual band going and I was enjoying winding down after a long week.

I started feeling a chill on the back of my neck. I looked around the room, expecting to see a familiar face smiling back at me. Instead I saw a man sitting in the shadows towards the back in my usual seat, staring right at me. I held his gaze to see if he'd look away, but he only smiled. Startled, I quickly looked away, trying to keep my attention on the music and relaxing.

I glanced back at the man a few times throughout the night. Every time he was still looking, no. Staring. He was staring right at me, looking into the depths of my soul. I had enough and walked over to the man. "What is your problem?!"

The man smiled and took a slow drink from his glass of wine before answering. "I was admiring my newest pet."

I didn't know what to say. My brain was telling me to get the hell out of there now, but my body was frozen. He stood and pulled out the chair next to him, gesturing for me to sit. I hesitated for a minute, then sat down on the edge of the seat. The man returned to his chair. "Would you like a drink?" I could only nod. He motioned a waitress over and ordered us two glasses of wine. "My name is CP. What's your name sweetheart?"

I swallowed a few times, trying to find my voice. "My...my name is Lena. W-why did you say that I was...you called me your newest pet. Why?"

CP looked puzzled. "Because you are. Or you will be. I see inside your soul, Lena. You're a natural submissive and I want you for myself. I want to show you all the wonders of my world. Give me the weekend. If by Sunday evening I haven't convinced you, I'll drop you back off here and I'll never bother you again. What do you say?"

I thought for a few minutes. My love life had been non-existent for the past year. I had been working too hard to focus on dating. I didn't trust the man next to me, but I agreed with his assessment of me being submissive. It was a secret I had kept very hidden over the years. "How can I be sure you'll return me back here on Sunday?"

CP smiled again. I was really starting to get addicted to his smile. His eyes lit up and sparkled and made my heart melt. "Give someone a call, tell them you're going home with a guy, and if they don't hear back from you by Sunday evening 8pm, to call the cops and give them this address." He had written down his address while talking and handed it over to her.

I looked down at the piece of paper, wondering if I was really going to go through with this. I looked up at CP, and for the first time, I smiled at him. "Let's go before I change my mind. I'll call outside before we go." CP tossed down some money, chuckling realizing that I had agreed to go home with him before the glasses of wine had been brought to the table.

A quick call to my best friend, then CP and I were off in his car. It wasn't flashy, but a nice SUV that looked a few years old. He opened the door for me, and helped me get inside. The drive took about forty minutes and we pulled up the a mid-1800's farm house. Even in the dark, I could see it was kept in good shape. I couldn't wait to see more of it in the daylight.

CP pulled up the driveway and parked at the right side of the house. He opened the door for me and again helped me down. I wondered for a moment if there was a safety lock that would've kept me from getting out, but I pushed it out of my mind.

He led me up to the house, unlocked the door, flipped a light switch and showed me inside. We walked into the living room, which was filled with antique furniture and a large comfy looking couch. He led me through the dining room and into the kitchen. He poured us each a glass of water. I kept quiet while I sipped the water, taking in CP’s home. I don’t know what I was expecting, but definitely not what I found. More antiques were in the kitchen, though it looked remodeled within the last few years. It has a comfortable feel where I could imagine many a holiday meal had been cooked here and shared by family and loved ones.

CP’s focus was still on me, smiling as I looked around his home. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. He held out his hand and I placed mine on top. He squeezed gently, I think to reassure me. He led me up a flight of stairs, down the hall, and into the Master bedroom. This was a bit more of what I expected. There were large hooks in the ceiling and an open closet showed more ropes, chains, gags, masks than I could easily count, with a built in storage unit that I could assume held more evil implements. CP pointed to the floor in front of him and I assumed he wanted me to kneel. I dropped down slowly until I was on my knees looking up at him.

“Good girl. Now clasp your hands behind your head and keep your elbows out straight.” I did as he ordered, which elicited another smile. I was becoming addicted to seeing him smile. I waited patiently for him to return. I saw him place a few things on the bed, but I figured I should keep my head straight so I couldn’t make out anything specific. I would find out soon enough anyway. He came back to stand in front of me. “Crawl on your hands and knees over to the bed, strip off all your clothes, and then spread out your arms and legs as close as you can to each of the bed posts.”

I crawled over easily enough, but hesitated when it came to undressing. CP saw this and gave me a look of displeasure. That was enough to get the rest of my clothes off quickly. I hopped onto the bed and spread my body out as I had been ordered, trying not to think about how open this position made me. I was staring at the ceiling so intently, I didn’t realize CP was near me until I felt him place a pillow beneath my butt and lower back, which lifted up and exposed my pussy even more. Now I knew I had to be blushing like crazy.

If CP noticed, he didn’t say anything. He worked methodically on my body, tying each wrist and ankle with white cotton rope, securing it tight and pulling the lines tightly to the posts. My body was already in a dull ache from being strained. Once I was restrained, CP placed a blindfold over my eyes, putting me literally in the dark. I grew slightly nervous, but something inside of me made me feel safe around CP. I couldn’t imagine him ever harming me.

I felt the bed depress around my legs and I wiggled in anticipation. I got a slap on my right inner thigh. “Stay still little one.” I nodded, not knowing if he’d see it or not. I relaxed my body, trying to will it to stay still. I felt CP trace a finger along my stomach down to my now fairly wet pussy. Suddenly there was a sharp pain and I could only gasp for air as my eyes shot open. As I felt another painful pinch on my pussy lips, I let out a moan. Two more followed quickly with four on the other side. My body was in more pain than it had ever known…yet, I was hornier, wetter, and aching to be fucked hard and long.

Two more clips were added to my body, this time to each of my nipples. I screeched as CP put those on. I thought my nipples were being ripped from my body. After a few minutes, they became more of a dull ache, like the rest of my body, but I already feared the pain that would come when he went to take them off.

As I was catching my breath and trying to recover from all the sensations, CP picked up a candle and lit the wick. He waited for some wax to pool up, then splashed some right into my navel. Compared to the other pain my body had felt, this was mild. While there was an initial red hot pain, it dulled out much quicker than the clips. He trailed wax all over my stomach until it was entirely covered. He then moved up to my breasts and covered them as well. I was moaning and bucking, desperate for relief as the pain turned to pleasure.

When he moved down to my pussy, I couldn’t wait for him to just get it over with. I hope it would give me the release that I needed. But I wouldn't be so lucky. CP dripped the hot wax all along my thighs, right up to my hips, but purposefully avoiding my so tender and aching pussy. CP blew out the candle, setting it on the nightstand. He picked up another item on the bed and got down to stand near the edge of the bed. He whispered in my ear, “By the end of the night, you’ll learn that your orgasms now belong to me and you’ll get to cum when I’m good and ready.” The humiliation served to heighten my arousal.

I heard the whoosh in the air, but didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. Not that I would’ve had a choice either way. CP had a cat o nine tails in his hand, which he was using to take the wax off my body. It wasn’t too bad, just slightly uncomfortable until he brought it down on my breasts, sending the clips flying. I bucked, screamed, and pulled at my bonds. The pain was excruciating! I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. I’m not sure how aware I was of the other clips being flicked off of my pussy. The next thing I remember CP was untying my legs from the lower posts and moving them to tie them to the upper posts, opening up my pussy in a way I didn’t think possible.

The blindfold had been removed at some point. “Ahhh, good. You’re back to being aware. I think your orgasms left you a bit stunned.” I couldn't really make coherent noises, but my puzzled face must have tipped him off. “Yes, you came hard, and multiple time. By the time I got to your pussy, you were cumming nonstop. It was beautiful, just like you.” We were both smiling. “Now I’m going to fuck you silly and make you cum until we’re both too tired and sore to move.”

He kept him promise. He was harsh, brutal, and I loved every second of it. He mauled my breasts, which sent me overboard into several orgasms. It was almost light before CP came deep inside of me. It sent me into one last orgasm. He carefully untied my legs and arms, massaging both to get the circulation going properly. I was falling asleep as he was working on untangling me. I did feel him snuggle and pull me tight, both of us falling into a wonderful, blissful sleep.

Part II

I awoke to soft kisses on my stomach. I tried to move my arms, but they were tied to the headboard above my head. CP was trailing his fingers across my stomach and thighs. I smiled down at him, surprised at the gentleness of his touch and kisses.

He paused his attentions long enough to ask, “How did you sleep little one?”

I moaned as his tongue swirled around my navel. “Mmmm, I slept well.” His kisses trailed down to my pussy while his thumb rubbed my clit. I bucked my hips, but that only made him pull away. I wiggled my hips, trying to entice him back. But he only smiled and kept his distance. Once I was still again, he returned his fingers. I came to realize that CP wanted me to stay still and just enjoy what he was giving me. It was so different from anything I had ever experienced, including last night. Even now, he had the ultimate control over me and all I could do was go along for the ride.

I moaned and cooed as his fingers entered my pussy. I couldn’t buck my hips so I squeezed my inner muscles tight onto his fingers. I heard him growl and start to fuck me slowly, his fingers exploring every inch inside of me. When his tongue touched my clit and started sucking gently, I came hard. I was panting and coming down from my high when I realized he was still playing with my soft flesh.

Normally once I had an orgasm, my partner would consider the job well done. Not CP. He was still going at me like a man starved. I felt his fingers curl inside me, stroking my g-spot. His teeth were nipping at my clit. I knew he wanted me to come again. I let go of all my reservations and gave in just as another orgasm swept through me. I moaned, arching my back as waves of bliss washed over me.

Still he continued. He lifted my hips up and pushed his tongue deep inside of my, tasting every inch of my wet flesh. His right hand, still dripping wet from my cum, found its way lower, caressing and slowly opening up my virgin asshole. I had always had an aversion to anal sex, but in this moment, I couldn’t stop him. I didn’t want to. The sensations combined with his tongue were sending me over the edge. He suddenly jumped up, his face hovering inches above mine.

He grinned wickedly, causing me to shiver. “You’re ass is still virgin, isn’t it?” I couldn’t seem to find words, so I just nodded. He chuckled, the sound coming low and deep from within him. He kissed me ferociously, letting me taste my own juices as our tongues danced. He reached over to a nightstand, pulling out a bottle from one of the drawers. It was lube. I suddenly got very nervous, realizing he was going to take my anal cherry right now if I didn’t say something….yet, I still was at a loss for words. I could only watch as CP placed a pillow beneath my hips and lathered lube onto his cock and my pink bud.

He brushed some stray hairs out of my face. He whispered, his smile tender again, “This will hurt a lot less and be much more enjoyable if you relax. When I start to push my cock in, push your anal muscles out. That’ll help stop them from tensing up.” I nodded once more. He must have seen the concern on my face, because he continued. “I want you to enjoy this as much as I do. So if it is too painful or if you just don’t like it, we’ll stop. Okay?” This time I smiled. “Okay.”

It was the first time I’d be given a choice over what was happening between us. As he lined his cock up with my ass, I wondered if I wanted the choice to stop. But then he was pushing in, and my thoughts went back to the matter at hand. I pushed back, letting him ease into me. When he was all the way inside, he stopped, letting my body adjust. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he bent to kiss me again.

“That was the hardest part. Now to have some fun.” His lips were pressed right up against mine. The vibrations of the words, sent chills down my spine and made my anal muscles contract around his cock. CP moaned and threw his head back. His seductive and slightly evil grin was back and he began to move his hips, thrusting his cock slowly in and out of me.

I could not believe how good his cock felt inside of me! It was more intense and pleasuring than anything I had felt in my pussy. I never wanted him to stop. “Please…” I looked deeply into his eyes, “More. Harder. Faster. Please.” CP growled again, and did as I wished. He fucked me hard and fast. My hips rose to meet his every thrust, sending him deeper inside of me. We were driven by passion and primal lust. When he came deep into my bowels, I let out a scream and came hard for several minutes, shaking and shivering. We stared deep into each other’s eyes, smiling in bliss. We both knew that I had reached a point of no return. I wanted more of what CP could offer and I wouldn’t be satisfied until I got it all....