Pawn

This is a song I wrote when I was sixteen. It's still one of my favorites, if not my favorite song I've written. I would love to rework it and add a bit more someday. It just feels heartbreaking to do so after all this time. But i'll get over that one day, lol. Enjoy :)

Pawn

I came to you 

In your dreams 

And showed you worlds 

Unimaginable 

I twisted your reality 

To make it mine 

Now you sit 

In the palm of my hand 

I took over you 

Now you are mine 

Mine to play with. 

I took over you 

Now you mine 

Mine to control.

Breaking your mind
A shattered soul of your past
You crumbled beneath
My might and will
Under pain and torture
You were reshaped
A perfect vessel
For a grand plan.

I took over you
Now you are mine
Mine to play with.
I took over you
Now you are mine
Mine to control.

In your waking 

You were bound to me 

You did my bidding 

With a wave of my hand
A small word escaped
The sound "Master" 

Becoming my slave 

You were at my command 

I took over you 

Now you are mine 

Mine to play with. 

I took over you 

Now you are mine 

Mine to control 

Not even seeing 

How you've lost your free will 

Thinking it's love 

But you're just 

A pawn in my plan 

Making it real 

I took over you 

Now you mine 

Mine to play with. 

I took over you 

Now you are mine 

Mine to control 

In my head, it has very Gothic, old hymn style music with a hard rock twist to it. To me, it sounds both elegant and edgy. One of these days i'll at least bring myself to record my vocals of it. I wish I had the skills to compose the music though. Vocals alone just don't do it justice.

I realize I forgot to mention something about this song. I wrote it from the perspective of the one in control, obviously, but I imagine it being sung to me while I'm in a deep sleep with my new Master is "reprogramming" me. I was thinking of my high school boy friend at the time.

Back Again

Today I'll be sharing "Back Again". In my backyard when I was growing up, we had a large wooden swing set. I used to lay on the handle bars sometimes for hours, thinking, singing, sometimes just existing. This poem (though it has a feel of being prose) was my attempt to get back to that point. It did its job given that every time I read it, I'm brought back to those long hours of peace and happiness. :)

"Back Again"

Here I go again,
remembering my childhood,
Thinking about my youth and innocence
when there were so many things to be understood.

I look up from the same
spot where I used to lie,
Watching the clouds go by
getting lost in the blue sky.

Memories of old, thoughts new,
acting like a little girl,
Remembering everything said before
being who I once was.

The clouds roll by,
I sing to and with them
The trees moving to the beat
swaying ever so gently.

I sing of nothing and everything
like when I was young,
Clouds, shaping my song,
float by with the gentle breeze.

To be young and carefree,
having no demons or enemies,
Just being one with the earth
in form of voice and song.

My youth, smarter than I am now,
more in tune with nature,
I float away into the world,
like I did before I knew what it meant.

I'm walking through a forest
watch a squirrel run by,
Birds chat with one another,
feeling the breeze in my face.

I go along a path
walking along with the wind,
I turn my head for one last look
I close my eyes, and I'm gone.

They open, I'm on a beach,
feel sand on my toes
The past is hidden there,
I walk into the water.

The cool, refreshing feel
the steady pulse of waves,
Sun reflecting on water
shining through to the ground.

I say goodbye to the calming shore,
close my eyes once more, open again,
Hot, bright, dry desert
surrounding me.

The unending quiet, heat bearing down,
a lizard, hunting for food and shade,
Scurrying past into more sand
not a single glance towards me.

I walk around, heat not affecting,
searching for life in the barren
A breeze, a vulture passes by,
lingering for a brief second.

Once more, I take a last look
close my eyes, I am home,
I look around, feeling the life
that surrounds me again.

With every journey we make
we grow into something more,
I retained my youth
along with the memories of before. 

Mirror

Watching the tears fall out

Waiting for the screams again

Miss the treasures of the past

Seems so long since I've seen them last

No where left to turn

No where left to hide

Only seeing myself

In the mirror of lies.

Broken Girl

In the wounds of a broken soul

lies a lonely heart

She seeps into her darkness

staring at the reflection

she once knew so well

Reflecting inward, she finds naught

but despair and loneliness

Black is the heart
which lies in her
If only someone would help
just reach out, showing love
Left in her own mind
she weeps and pines
hoping beyond all known hope

Tears stain her once rosy cheeks
the only reflection
to the soul deep inside
She whispers "To love
is for those who do not mourn"
A bitter resemblance of who she was
only her eyes show the truth

Are We Who We Are

This is one of my favorite poems I have written, both for content and because the title worked out fabulously. :)   Written Feb. 2008

What can I say about the life unlived

How we waste aware the hours

Trying to set a mask on our deeper soul

Conforming to a society, seeing no difference

In between every person we meet

Where have all the freethinkers gone

Has all of our independence flown away

Where is the deeper meaning

In jobs we hate, families that fight,

Friendships used for our own gain

When our days fly by, and memories

Cannot be recalled, do we live

Or are we just puppets playing the part