People

You and me, together
we'll make it through this.
A battle of right and wrong
laid at our feet.
How do we right
the wrong that we did,
make things better?
Disaster and Pain
were our weapons.
Now Love and Hope
must be our shield
to fix the world we created.



I'd gather I wrote this some time during my junior year. It sounds like something I would have written then. So that would have been the fall of '05. I still remember what I intended the meaning to be for this poem. It's about love between individuals as well as a greater bond we all share as human beings. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our personal lives that we forget about the rest of the world. I would hope that some balance can be reached whereby helping the populous can help bring individuals together.

All I Want

"All I Want"


All I want is to stop crying
One day where I'm not given a reason
To pour all of my emotions on the floor
Hoping I can pick all of them up
Before someone notices

All I want is to be happy
I want to go to bed feeling cherished
Knowing that I'm worth fighting for
Wrapped up in love
Tucked into a safe place to call home

All I want is to stop crying
A life that I don't fight depression
Where I'm afraid to get into a car
Fighting thoughts to drive and never stop
To run away from all the pain

All I want is to be happy
People I can grow old with
Making memories and fulfilling dreams
Laughter filling the air
Sharing intimate moments and secret smiles

All I want is to stop crying
Make the doubts go away
Rip the veil the shadows left
Leaving me in this pit of loneliness
Struggling to breathe

All I want is to be happy
Live a life I can be proud of
To wake with a smile
Enjoy the warmth of the sun
Appreciate the small wonders

All I want is to stop crying
Hiding me away out of fear
Being a secret buried in lies
Tearing my heart apart
Leaving a trail of blood behind me

All I want is to be happy
To feel whole and complete
Drive the darkness away
Replaced with love and light
Being free of pain

All I want is to stop crying
All I want is to be happy

All I want is the chance to be me

Broken

This is a song I just wrote. I really like how it came out. Funny enough, I was inspired by some Christian show that was playing in the background. I had been watching the Price is Right and hadn't changed the channel yet. All I heard the woman say was "this feeling I can not shake" and the song was born from there. :)

"Broken"

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

Why do we keep making this feel so wrong
Just one more night and in the morning it's gone
I can't play this game for much too long
It's all just a fleeting moment
A shared kiss, lingering embrace
But when the sun rises we're both alone

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

In the beginning it all went right
You were my knight in shining armor
Buying flowers and opening doors
But the fights and nights screaming
Can only be swept away for so many times
So I walked out the door and out your life

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

You're an addiction and I need a fix
I come crawling back for that sweet release
Try to tell you it's just this once
Yet I'm at your door the next night
Needing the sweetness and comfort
Before the vicious cycle starts again

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

When will I learn that you're bad for me
I know I'm not right for you either
The game is done, we've played it out
There are no second chances here
So just before the light breaks
I'll leave a note and disappear

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try so hard to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
We've always been broken

A final goodbye, one last kiss
You won't see me anymore

Starting Over

This is a new poem I just wrote. I'm really not sure who I'm writing about here, if there is anyone in particular. It reminds me of my main high school boyfriend more than anyone else.




"Starting Over"

All the questions don't matter now
As love turns to heart ache
The words have been said
More times that either of us can count

I will remember the moments
Where you made me feel special
Keep close the lessons
You fought so hard to teach me

Yet I'm not bitter or angry
Knowing forever wasn't meant to be
I'll pick up the pieces of my heart
And rebuild for a better tomorrow

New Beginnings

Written during my sophomore year after visiting New Zealand the summer before. I did feel very much at home in Wellington. The stranger in this poem is the taxi driver taking me to meet a very good friend of mine (B) for the first time in person.


I step off the plane
am greeted by a foreign man
in a strange, new land.

Driving in the car with him
on the left hand side of the road
I gaze upon the city that has held
my dreams for many months.

The beauty in incomparable
thought the differences strike my heart
excitement, anxiety, fear, joy
rush through my veins
yet, I feel I am home at last.

Lies

Written in the fall of '06


"Lies"

If I told you the world was round and the sky blue,
you'd believe me?
Would you believe because I told you so or
because you saw it for yourself?

What if what we see is nothing
but a lie?
What if all we've been told
is someone's belief on reality?

Can they really prove it,
or is it all lies?

Is everything we hold dear
a creation of our own imaginations,
or are we actually part of some
grand design, some great plan?

Even if we do exist,
do we truly act as we really are?
Do we show ourselves
or do we lie?

Now knowing any of these answers,
I leave you with your own.

Ready to Fight Again

Written in Feb. 2008

Here we go again,

I know you missed me too and in the end,

it's now how it always has been

You and me, always together

fighting side by side

No matter the struggles we face

you'll always be there

Countless lives we've lived

you've never let me down once

I know you never will

Having my back,

we'll fight the demons that come our way

and we know somehow we'll make it through

Whether by sword, or carefully placed word

they'll never stop us

Though the wold may not understand

what exactly it is we do

it doesn't really matter

Facing another foe

waiting to fight, ready as all hell

So here we go again

Love Not My Own

This was written back in Feb. 2008


Don't know where I went wrong
I just can't go on anymore
Don't know what to do
I think about you all the time
And all I can do is smile
When you're around

I messed up and I did wrong
Wishing I could take back all the pain
I'm so ashamed
You're out of my life now
Hoping you're okay
That I didn't crush your spirit

I know she makes you happy
I made you happy too
But we both know better
There's no happy ending for us
If she gives you that perfect life
Take it, you deserve one
'Cause I hurt you so bad
I hope she can heal your wounds

I've seen you two together
The perfect couple in a perfect world
I can smile when I see you two
Knowing you're happy
Though it kills me inside

I'm really sorry for everything
Be happy live and love
Take care of each other
And never let go

Are We Who We Are

This is one of my favorite poems I have written, both for content and because the title worked out fabulously. :)   Written Feb. 2008

What can I say about the life unlived

How we waste aware the hours

Trying to set a mask on our deeper soul

Conforming to a society, seeing no difference

In between every person we meet

Where have all the freethinkers gone

Has all of our independence flown away

Where is the deeper meaning

In jobs we hate, families that fight,

Friendships used for our own gain

When our days fly by, and memories

Cannot be recalled, do we live

Or are we just puppets playing the part