Breaking Free

You rode in like a white knight bent on saving me
I couldn't see past the brilliant shine to the dark man hiding inside
Whispering all the words I so desperately wanted to hear
Wrapping me further in this fantasy
Claiming my mind with a fiery purpose of having me submit

I wasn't strong enough to see you then
But I see all too clearly now
A magician with his tricks
Not truths, only smoke and mirrors


Throwing out the memories of a wrong loved shared
Feeling like a fool for falling for you
I'm not your pawn, you can't hurt me anymore

You thought I was too weak to succeed on my own
Thinking I would fall to pieces without you leading the way
As you tore my heart and mind apart, shattering an innocence
Believing your games would win
When you left without a word or second glance

I wasn't strong enough to see you then
But I see all too clearly now
A magician with his tricks
Not truths, only smoke and mirrors


Throwing out the memories of a wrong loved shared
Feeling like a fool for falling for you
I'm not your pawn, you can't hurt me anymore

Does it surprise you I'm standing proudly
That I'm stronger than ever now that you're gone
I'm better than you deserved yet you'll never know
You couldn't see the woman who'd been to hell and back
Waiting in the shadows to reclaim my life

I wasn't strong enough to see you then
But I see all too clearly now
A magician with his tricks
Not truths, only smoke and mirrors


Throwing out the memories of a wrong loved shared
Feeling like a fool for falling for you
I'm not your pawn, you can't hurt me anymore

The smoke and mirrors don't hide your illusions
The mask shattered, the armor dulled
I'm strong enough to see you clearly now

I wasn't strong enough to see you then
But I see all the clearly now
A magician with his tricks
Not truths, only smoke and mirrors

Throwing out the memories of a wrong loved shared
Feeling like fool for falling for you
I'm not your pawn, you can't hurt me anymore

Broken

This is a song I just wrote. I really like how it came out. Funny enough, I was inspired by some Christian show that was playing in the background. I had been watching the Price is Right and hadn't changed the channel yet. All I heard the woman say was "this feeling I can not shake" and the song was born from there. :)

"Broken"

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

Why do we keep making this feel so wrong
Just one more night and in the morning it's gone
I can't play this game for much too long
It's all just a fleeting moment
A shared kiss, lingering embrace
But when the sun rises we're both alone

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

In the beginning it all went right
You were my knight in shining armor
Buying flowers and opening doors
But the fights and nights screaming
Can only be swept away for so many times
So I walked out the door and out your life

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

You're an addiction and I need a fix
I come crawling back for that sweet release
Try to tell you it's just this once
Yet I'm at your door the next night
Needing the sweetness and comfort
Before the vicious cycle starts again

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
Yeah it's broken

When will I learn that you're bad for me
I know I'm not right for you either
The game is done, we've played it out
There are no second chances here
So just before the light breaks
I'll leave a note and disappear

This feeling I can not shake
These thoughts I try so hard to hide
But it's broken
(it's broken)
We've always been broken

A final goodbye, one last kiss
You won't see me anymore

Starting Over

This is a new poem I just wrote. I'm really not sure who I'm writing about here, if there is anyone in particular. It reminds me of my main high school boyfriend more than anyone else.




"Starting Over"

All the questions don't matter now
As love turns to heart ache
The words have been said
More times that either of us can count

I will remember the moments
Where you made me feel special
Keep close the lessons
You fought so hard to teach me

Yet I'm not bitter or angry
Knowing forever wasn't meant to be
I'll pick up the pieces of my heart
And rebuild for a better tomorrow

My Heart's Thoughts

Written in the fall of '05. This is about a guy from my creative writing class. Nothing ever came from it as I started dating my main high school boyfriend so afterwards. Funny enough, they were both football players...a type of guy I had never thought I'd be interested in.


I'm watching you from across the room
silently giggling to myself
for being so shy.

What's wrong with me,
why am I beating so?

Your eyes taking me in
hopefully in the way I want.
I long to be in your arms
empty inside when I'm not near you.

But who am I kidding?
I don't even exist to you.

I am yours for the taking
and if you do please,
all I ask, is not to break me.

Love Not My Own

This was written back in Feb. 2008


Don't know where I went wrong
I just can't go on anymore
Don't know what to do
I think about you all the time
And all I can do is smile
When you're around

I messed up and I did wrong
Wishing I could take back all the pain
I'm so ashamed
You're out of my life now
Hoping you're okay
That I didn't crush your spirit

I know she makes you happy
I made you happy too
But we both know better
There's no happy ending for us
If she gives you that perfect life
Take it, you deserve one
'Cause I hurt you so bad
I hope she can heal your wounds

I've seen you two together
The perfect couple in a perfect world
I can smile when I see you two
Knowing you're happy
Though it kills me inside

I'm really sorry for everything
Be happy live and love
Take care of each other
And never let go