All I Want

"All I Want"


All I want is to stop crying
One day where I'm not given a reason
To pour all of my emotions on the floor
Hoping I can pick all of them up
Before someone notices

All I want is to be happy
I want to go to bed feeling cherished
Knowing that I'm worth fighting for
Wrapped up in love
Tucked into a safe place to call home

All I want is to stop crying
A life that I don't fight depression
Where I'm afraid to get into a car
Fighting thoughts to drive and never stop
To run away from all the pain

All I want is to be happy
People I can grow old with
Making memories and fulfilling dreams
Laughter filling the air
Sharing intimate moments and secret smiles

All I want is to stop crying
Make the doubts go away
Rip the veil the shadows left
Leaving me in this pit of loneliness
Struggling to breathe

All I want is to be happy
Live a life I can be proud of
To wake with a smile
Enjoy the warmth of the sun
Appreciate the small wonders

All I want is to stop crying
Hiding me away out of fear
Being a secret buried in lies
Tearing my heart apart
Leaving a trail of blood behind me

All I want is to be happy
To feel whole and complete
Drive the darkness away
Replaced with love and light
Being free of pain

All I want is to stop crying
All I want is to be happy

All I want is the chance to be me

Rescue

Hush little girl, I'm here now and you're safe
The monsters are gone, never to return
No more eyes that lust and hate
Protected while in my arms

Let your tears fall freely
Don't be ashamed of your pain
Your stronger for it, that's what they'll tell you
All that matters is that you feel

Darkness waits to drive you to numbness
Trust me, I've been there
Even pain is better than nothing at all
Though I hope to make you smile again

Sleep my sweet, I'll watch over your dreams
Tomorrow will be a brighter day
I'll hold your hand tight, never let go
For I am a part of you

Tears

This was written around March of '04, during my freshman year of high school. I still remember the feelings I had when I wrote it, and who I wrote it about.

I see you crying now
I never thought that could be true
You were the strongest
Still are

Now I realize my tears
Are yours too
Hating to see you like this
Knowing it's my fault

Please stop crying
My guilt only increasing
Never did I know that your tears
Weren't meant for me

I can't bare
To see you like this
I know I caused this
That you want a share of the pain

Those tears, that stare, STOP
I can't take anymore
My guilt, uncomprehending care
Those tears shouldn't be there

Shouldn't see you upset
Tears tell all
Painful stares too
I need you

Don't leave me now
Don't go, please

I can't be left
With just tears