On A Rooftop, Hiding In the Shadows

Staring out into this city of endless light
remembering time from long past
where the night was dark
and owned by my people.

This place is new to those here
not unlike the countries where we began.
Coming here for a new beginning
like the new life thrust upon me
in the back alley that began my own darkness.

Older than this country by hundreds of years;
this place is my new home.
A city where I can find
light amid the darkness.

I will protect this land,
and its people, as my own.

Decision

Written about April of '03. If I find the journal it was originally in, I could give an exact date. This was actually part of a three poem series. I was feeling very torn that day and this is the one that best shows how I felt. Considering I'm still here, I guess the ending question is answered.



The world is a happy place
while I am not.
My beloved is scared
and doesn't know what to do.
I want to be happy.
I want to love,
miss my beloved if I go.
Should I stay or go?
I'm not sure.

I want to be happy,
want my life to be happy,
want to live my life.
I'll miss them if I go,
they'll miss me too.
I try to think happy,
be happy,
know I'm happy.

My life stands on the
edge of a cliff.
I don't jump,
step back.
I'm safe, for now.
Can I remain this way?

Yours

Gather my secrets
Probe my weaknesses
Molding and shaping
Take the clay of my mind
Make me yours

Shrouded in darkness
Take me deeper into the night
Where the demons of your soul
Seek the corruption of mine
Bind me in layers
Tear the sanity from my mind
Keeping me helpless
Dependent on you

Gather my secrets
Probe my weaknesses
Molding and shaping
Take the clay of my mind
Make me yours

Chains that hold me
Captive to your wicked ways
Watching the life I led
Stripped from who I will become
Bittersweet abyss
Pain and pleasure
Always one more step to take
Will this nightmare never end

Gather my secrets

Probe my weaknesses

Molding and shaping

Take the clay of my mind

Make me yours

Surrendering to your will
Broken and beaten down
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes
Now born anew
Protected and cherished
Never could envision
How sweet true freedom tastes
I am yours

Endless Love

Written August 21, 2006. I was still in HS and madly in love with my boyfriend at the time. This is a sweet song I wrote about my feelings at the time. Some of this still holds true. He is someone I will love likely for the rest of my life. He loved me without reservations. It didn't matter what anyone else thought of me, or would think of him by being with me. The love we shared was unique. Even we couldn't recreate it now, too much has changed. I only regret one thing...not letting him go when my time with him was done.


Para mi amado.




"Endless Love"

I heard a voice calling me
and telling me so many truths
I heard a voice calling me
sending me straight to you

I know that love is fickle
not always kind
Yet I believe in you and me
and how we're meant to be

Because...

I heard a voice calling me
and telling me so many truths
I heard a voice calling me
sending me straight to you

When I was young
I had many heartbreaks
So many a love
yet I know you're the one

Because...

I heard a voice calling me
and telling me so many truths
I heard a voice calling me
sending me straight to you

In a world full of hatred
I know only one blinding light
It shines like a thousand stars
I know it is you

Because...

I heard a voice calling me
and telling me so many truths
I heard a voice calling me
sending me straight to you

Even though we may suffer
our love will get us through
Because no one else, no one
could love like we do

Because...

I heard a voice calling me
and telling me so many truths
I heard a voice calling me
sending me straight to you

New Beginnings

Written during my sophomore year after visiting New Zealand the summer before. I did feel very much at home in Wellington. The stranger in this poem is the taxi driver taking me to meet a very good friend of mine (B) for the first time in person.


I step off the plane
am greeted by a foreign man
in a strange, new land.

Driving in the car with him
on the left hand side of the road
I gaze upon the city that has held
my dreams for many months.

The beauty in incomparable
thought the differences strike my heart
excitement, anxiety, fear, joy
rush through my veins
yet, I feel I am home at last.